even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
