Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
