her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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