I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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