I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
