This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The air was thick with penises
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
