How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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