There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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