no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
