so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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