Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
