Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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