Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
