It's Friday. Sex?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Everclear isn't food dammit
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
