dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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