The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
