Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
