Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
