I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
