How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize