We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
