He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
