woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
