I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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