The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
