Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
