Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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