it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
pray to the hookup gods
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
