awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
