remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
