I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
