i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
