Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize