The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
