YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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