PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do vagina's smell?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
