Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
