we have pet lesbian snakes
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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