i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
