Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
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