She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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