Soap is not a condiment
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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