She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
