Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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