and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Actions speak louder than pants.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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