Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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