Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
