Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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