Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize