paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
