I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
