I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
