is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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