winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
