Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
where are you?
Hypothermia
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
