How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
