Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There r osticjed everywhere
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
